9/2012
Leadership and Compassion

I have been working with a client who is pretty clear of the strengths and assets she has to offer her organization and she, like many leaders, had been struggling with the down-sizing and cutbacks in funding. How could they create a climate that honored those that would be leaving and keep the morale high for those who stayed, knowing they would be experiencing the loss of colleagues and very likely, additional work?

My client’s ideas and input seemed to be a driving force in the closing processes. All of the managers at her organization gave input on how to deal with the budget cuts. Throughout it all, this organization seems to have embraced the notion of helping their employees through change, transition and the grief process. The leaders of this organization knew being included in the communication processes, didn’t erase what the employees were going through. They did witness, however, that having opportunities to talk about the changes and to be informed of the processes calmed them down. Their processes also seemed to open the space for individuals to figure out how to support and take care of each other. A minimum of 4 weeks advance notice was given for every lay-off. Throughout it all, leaders were able to navigate around conversations about how traumatized and demoralized they were. This was incredibly powerful in the healing process, because these kinds of conversations often morph into “who’s more traumatized.” Many going-away parties were held, several were spontaneous. After lay-offs were made and some employees departed, the organization returned to their annual ritual of identifying what each individual stands for. It was a joyful ceremony, which declared what each person brings to the organization. Individuals focused on what they stand for as individuals, and collectively what they stand for as an organization. Small and large group discussions helped them identify their individual and collective strengths, while recommitting themselves to the core values of the organization.

My client and I discussed how she was feeling about the processes and the cut-backs. She replied that, although they had been through this cycle before, this was the most healing and promising. The rituals they used helped them to acknowledge this transition--the sorrow and the joy.

My client’s organization seems to have moved through this transition in a very balanced and humane way. Interestingly enough, some of the released employees were hired back. Instead of gaining back “wounded” individuals, there was great happiness.

So many companies dismiss individuals and immediately escort them out of the buildings, sometimes having other persons pack up and gather their things. These rituals of inclusion at my client’s workplace, seems to have afforded an intentional ending and closing, and space for a new beginning, helping both the individuals leaving and those who stayed.

Questions to reflect upon:
How can you be compassionate to yourself and to others in difficult situations?
What keeps you from being compassionate to yourself?
Can you think of other situations where employees are facing loss or change? How could being intentional about endings, loss and new beginnings help the employees?

8/2012
Connecting and Making Meaning

A colleague responded to last month’s “thoughts” on Congruency and Flow. As she thought about the reflection question, Have you ever experienced coincidences and opportunities open up? What did it look like, sound like or feel like?” She wrote: “what came to me was an image of two rail cars connecting up with a satisfying ‘clunk’ as two things that were separate came together in the way that they were designed to do.” She alluded to a feeling of satisfaction, that when she hears the clunk, she can move forward. There may be times when the pieces of our lives come together in this fashion, and there is an instantaneous “knowingness” in that moment.

When she envisions the two cars attaching to each other, she hears, feels, sees and perceives the connection and the train moves down its path in an effortless manner. Each rail car fulfills an important function. For the period where the cars are connected, they work together as a team. Just as a railcar is connected, sidelined, or hooked up to a different car, an individual may work together with a team, rest, work alone, join another team and perhaps rejoin the original team at some point. Whatever follows, the connection of the two cars has provided a rhythm and flow, just as our connections with each other provide deeper meaning for our journeys in life.

Question to reflect upon:
When you experience things coming together, what made them meaningful to you?
What does it look, sound, or feel like when things come together for you? What do you perceive about the connection?

7/2012
Congruency Leads to Flow

When my clients successfully change a pattern of action, I often help them “future pace” the action so that they envision the new way of responding. At the close of a coaching engagement, I recently asked my client to walk down a timeline in the future, when one of his direct reports comes to him asking him to intervene and he responds in the less reactive stance which he has been practicing and has successfully demonstrated. It was clear that he had the confidence of supporting his staff to develop their skills by not personally inserting himself and not automatically fixing the problem but letting his staff find ways to successfully respond to the situation. My client has been coaching his staff in their weekly consultations and gaining time to work on many other administrative issues. He is happy that he is moving forward on his leadership goals and is less stressed. My client has allowed his congruency to lead into a flow, where everything comes together.

I’ve written in earlier blogs about my coaching processes of reflection, focus, congruence and flow*. Congruence is the aligning of all the parts of oneself to move in the same direction. Flow is the unplanned process, where coincidences occur and opportunities open up. Charlene Belitz and Meg Lundstrom in The Power of Flow describe flow as, “being in the right place at the right time, doing the right thing.” I am coming to realize that future pacing oneself increases the opportunity for flow.

Questions to reflect upon:
Have you ever experienced coincidences and opportunities open up? What did it look like, sound like or feel like?
Have you ever moved forward on a project effortlessly? What made it possible? Can you see it happening in future projects?

*I have incorporated three coaching processes identified by Donald Gerard, MA, CHT, Relationship Coach, that he formulated as Clarity, Alignment, and Acceleration.

For previous blogs on these processes see: Focus (12/2011, 3/2010), Reflection (2/2012, 9/2010), Congruence (8/2011, 8/2010, 3/2008), Flow (9/2011, 5/2011, 5/2008).

6/2012
Finding Contentment in Work

I recently read from a Forbes article, 5/18/12, that only 19% of workers were “satisfied” with their jobs. From a survey of 411 Canadian and US workers conducted by Right Management, only 22% responded that they were “somewhat satisfied” and 44% indicated they were “unsatisfied.” It appears that a majority of people feel stuck, underemployed and overall not happy with their work. Years ago, when I worked with the University of California and later, primarily as a trainer, I could sense discontent in many of the people around me regarding their work and this sentiment was evident during a good economy. I think that for a long time, many employed people have not been happy in their workplaces and the number seems to be growing. I find this extremely disconcerting. A workplace where more than 50% of persons are not satisfied with their jobs is not a good environment for helping people give their best and feel good about what they contribute.

Towards the end of the article, the writer appeals to employers that if they want a motivated, productive workforce, they should try to find ways to keep their employees challenged, rewarded by work and should offer more training and education. I’m wondering what the message is for individuals who are not happy with their current work. Are you dissatisfied with your work? If so, do you cope by separating your “real” life from what you do at work? Might there be something else that you really want to do or some other company that you’d like to look into? Are you feeling stuck and wish to get “unstuck?” If you are dissatisfied and cannot leave your current workplace, what possibilities are there to make your current work or situation more enjoyable: different projects, assignments, working on an assignment with a new person? If you know there are no possibilities now for changing your job, what are some potential places that you might research which might open up when the economic climate changes? What are your goals for being at this current workplace? Have you met them? Is it time to move on? If so, what do you want to move on to?

Questions to reflect upon:
What do you appreciate? What is one of the things you enjoy in the workplace?
What are ways that you could be more satisfied with your work/life?
What strengths and abilities do you bring?
What are hobbies that you enjoy that you might incorporate aspects of into your work, or perhaps enjoy discussion of with at the workplace?

5/2012
Family Legacies

“It matters not what others say about us. All that comes before us dwells within us. All that comes hereafter is our legacy.” Janice Mirikitani, Poet, Founding President, Glide Memorial Foundation; Excerpted from soon to be published poem: “A Letter To My Daughter”

During WWII, after the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor, President Roosevelt signed Executive Order 9066, which authorized the removal of 120,000 persons of Japanese descent, 2/3 of whom were American citizens. During Asian Pacific American Heritage month, there is an exhibit in the Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) San Bruno station within the Tanforan shopping center, which presents some of the photos of evacuation taken by the well-known photojournalist, Dorothea Lange. Paul Kitagaki, photographer and Sansei, or third generation Japanese American, has located several of the persons or descendants of the original persons captured in Lange’s pictures. This display is an ongoing reminder that we need to be ever vigilant of our civil rights. How appropriate that this exhibition would be in the very same place where Japanese Americans were rounded up and forced to live in horse stalls at the Tanforan racetrack where they were first assembled en route the concentration camps. My mother was one of the evacuees, and a high school student at the time. We stood where she had been illegally detained.

The words of Janice Mirikitani touched me deeply. A couple of years ago I had attended a similar dedication of a permanent statue at the Merced fairgrounds, (in Central California), which was where my father was assembled and was near my hometown. Since I had heard similar speeches in Merced, I didn’t anticipate having such a strong emotional response in San Bruno, when dignitaries, politicians and artists spoke about the grave injustice of the incarceration. I have attended many educational forums, read numerous books and experienced many works of art depicting the relocation experience, yet attending this reception in San Bruno, moved me to my core. Many of the speakers referred to personal stories from their families in the face of evacuation. They reminded us how similar acts are happening to the Syrian people, and to Arab Americans in the US in the aftermath of 9/11. We also know of Palestinians being moved off their land by settlements and restricted from movement with the ever increasing building of walls. In this country, the scapegoating of people due to race, religion, gender, sexual orientation or physical abilities is not only illegal, but inhumane. United States Representative Jackie Spier, offered her personal apology to the evacuees in the audience, and I immediately teared up. I was reminded how the healing process for the legacy of evacuation that touched me and my immediate family continues to take place.

Questions to reflect upon:
Do you know about your family legacy? How does your family legacy influence what you are doing now?
Do you have friends that have shared their family legacies with you? How meaningful are their stories in your life? How do other people’s stories influence what you do?

4/2012
“Gambatte” and Resiliency

In last month’s, “March 2012, thoughts,” I wrote about the half-full glass perspective which two African-American women clients had mentioned to me. I remembered some of the difficult times on the farm and expressed gratitude to have grown up in a family which carried this sense of hope and faith about weathering through difficult times. I thought about closing the blog with a Japanese saying about the half-full sentiment. I realized that the Japanese culture doesn’t have that perspective. The closest thing I could arrive at would be echoed in the phrase, “gambatte,” (GAM-ba-TE), to persevere or to fight through it. I’d like to share three different stories about gambatte from my mother-in-law, my mother and the lay leader from my church. Although the notion of half-full perspective or a specific philosophy about focusing on the positive seems to be absent within the Japanese and Japanese American cultures, both the half-full perspective and notion of gambatte point towards gratitude and are testimonials about resilience.

Mother-in-law, struggling through daily life
While in Boston raising kids, her husband was still a student in college, she experienced hardship during WWII-- not much meat in markets, not enough vegetables in Boston during the winter time. Everyone was responding with the spirit of gambatte, but their financial situation of three children and no regular job made it a harder struggle for them. In Boston, they only had Chinese rice, which was costly. For the most part, they couldn’t afford to eat rice for many years, seven or so, until they returned to California. She remembers ordering rice from New York. It was very expensive and yet they served it to exchange students from Japan, right after the war, for the weekly meals they offered to approximately 200 young adults. When making curry rice, they had to have Japanese rice. Many of the students came from families with more money than them, but it was right after WWII and the national policy was they couldn’t take much money out of Japan, maybe $200 or so, since cash amounts were limited.

Even with the scarcity of rice, she remembers buying it to make "omochi," soft rice and sweet bean confection, for the New Year’s celebration. Interesting how this precious commodity, a symbol of struggling through daily life, was also one that brought joy, ritual and happy memories.

Mother, to persevere in face of adversity
Gambatte in her life brings memories of being evacuated during WWII and entire Japanese communities enduring adversity when over 110,000 Japanese Americans, two-thirds of whom were citizens, were forcibly removed from their homes, due solely on the basis of race. This spirit of gambatte continued for many of the evacuees after they left the camps. The people in my mom’s neighborhood had signed a petition which stated they did not want Japanese Americans to return to their homes. My grandmother had been diagnosed with stomach cancer and they didn’t know what recourse they had. Finally, they returned to their home, where my grandmother spent her last three weeks, able to die in peace.

Lay Leader, to “hang in there”
“For me, my family didn’t know it was hard, because we thought everyone was poor. Growing up, I felt like we were all in the same boat. Following Eastern tradition about not comparing self and with everyone having the same struggle, the hardships were not as big. There’s a beauty in the simplicity of not knowing you are poor or don’t have much. Then when we’ve struggled and toughed it out, the reward is gratitude. Through gratitude, we can turn around fear and negativity. It’s sometimes difficult to let go of fear and negativity. In Buddhism, people are taught that everything is impermanent, and yet, how we treat other people, the good thoughts we have make a difference. Gratitude helps us to focus on the big picture and the flow of our lives. In Christianity we are taught these same principles of gratitude. Whether we express gratitude, consciously or not, we pass it on. The Taoist principle of emptying oneself, giving up, and doing nothing opens up the space so that a lot can happen.” Jo Takada

As I listened to these stories, I was reminded that struggling through adversity provides resiliency. All three of these stories of frugality, living through the tough times of societal mistreatment and just “hanging in there” all underscore the notion of a collective perseverance. Through gambatte, gratitude, the act of positive acceptance and embrace of our current situation can follow.

Questions to reflect upon:
How have you been resilient in your life? What did it look like, sound like or feel like? What are your thoughts on resiliency?
How can resiliency continue to be a positive resource in your life now?

3/2012
Half-full Glass Perspective

Last week I was struck by two separate clients, both African American females, mention how other persons notice that they view the world from a “glass half-full” perspective. Both of them have lived through some very difficult societal and personal challenges, and yet, are conscious that their positive framework are strengths.

I don’t remember hearing that particular phrase much while growing up, however, I do believe that even when there were troubles on the farm, and worries about finances, the notion that we would make it through was always prevalent.

I remember times that were tough, when much of the almond trees or crops were damaged by rain at the wrong time, or when it was difficult to afford/obtain enough water to irrigate the crops. I also remember worrisome times when my grandfather had suffered a heart attack and when my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer. Yet, there was always a sense of hope and faith that we would weather through it. I feel fortunate to have lived within a family who carried this outlook.

I am grateful that I was aware of the hard times my family was facing. I think it has helped me to value all the relationships and belongings that I have and to put things into perspective.

Questions to reflect upon:
Have you ever looked at a situation through the “half-full glass” perspective? Had you not, how might the outcomes been different?
If you have not experienced this “half-full glass” perspective, can you replay a difficult situation from the past through this framework? Has the intensity of this memory shifted?

2/2012
Reflection

“I LOVED HAVING MY THOUGHTS BEING HEARD BY ANOTHER PERSON. This provided me with some form of feedback and probably a way to hear my own thoughts when I verbalize it.” Lakshmi, Language Coordinator

While coaching people, I engage the following processes: Reflection (see “thoughts” 9/2010), Focus (12/2011, 3/2010), Congruence (8/2011, 8/2010, 3/2008) and Flow (9/2011, 5/2011). Reflection is the inward journey, focus compels the discipline, congruence brings the alignment and balance, and flow unfolds the ease and effortlessness. When I read part of Lakshmi’s evaluation of the coaching engagement, I realized she was referring to how coaching allows one to reflect.

Our lives are so busy that setting aside the time to consciously reflect seems difficult. And yet, it is through reflection that transformation can begin. A shift of one’s perspective or behavior begins with reflection. Today I was mentioning to my dentist that I don’t notice any tension or pain in my jaw, except for when I lie down in bed. Interesting enough, she said that when she was on vacation and in the evening just before bed time, she was beginning to have a migraine. She couldn’t understand this because she thought she was relaxed. Her doctor said that when one begins to relax the muscles and the body is winding down and tired, it hears the pain signals.

With the recent passing of the solstice, the Gregorian calendar New Year and Lunar New Year, the Winter season seems like a great time to focus on reflection.

Questions to reflect upon:
When you experience pain, how do you respond? What resources help you in shifting the level of pain?
When you feel frustrated with a particular outcome, how do you respond? How does the frustration change when you reframe that outcome?

1/2012
Focus of Growth for Year

I had a business coach that shared with me the process of choosing a theme for the year. In 2011, I chose “Centering Self: Letting go of that which is not mine.” Sounds easy, doesn’t it? I have come to recognize that for most of my life, I’ve been really good at fixing things, whether it be administrative communication, opening channels for looking at oneself to change habits that are not conducive to positive growth and interaction. Until the past 5-10 years, I’ve tended to focus on the immediate outcome and less so on the processes which require a shift in the way of responding so that one begins to be conscious of one’s reactions which transforms and affects future behavior and effectiveness. This theme of letting go of what’s not mine has helped me to juggle many transitions in my life and to unburden myself of the emotional weight of difficult or discordant things happening around me. With this focus, I have moved towards concentrating on what I can change, what I have power over. Of course, that means changes within myself. This process continues to be a humbling and in some ways, never-ending one.

For 2012, I have chosen one of the reiki precepts (principles) as my theme, “Just for today, be compassionate to yourself and others.” Just as in many spiritual and religious traditions, this concept is so simple, yet so redemptive. Love yourself and others. For only if we truly love ourselves, can our hearts and souls be fully open for love to flow though us to other people.

Questions to reflect upon:
How has compassion played a role in your own growth?
Just for today, how can you be compassionate to yourself?
Just for today, how can you be compassionate to others?

12/2011
The Lighthouse: Establishing Focus

Have you ever forged ahead and moved towards your destination despite the fact that some relevant factors had changed? I want to share a story. At sea, a captain was in the fog and saw the light from the lighthouse in the not too distant shoreline. He radioed the lighthouse keeper, who instructed him to not come in. The captain bellowed, “I outrank you. You’re a non-commissioned officer and I’m coming in.” The lighthouse keeper responded, “I suggest you move. I’m not moving.”

Do you ever disregard signs that shine out to you, telling you that something is amiss? Sometimes I become so intent on reaching my destination that I don’t recognize how the fog may cloud my perspective. Sometimes I see clients intent on charging ahead with their plans, not recognizing the warning to back off.

A coach can be like the lighthouse, helping clients see through the fog, supporting them in charting the right business course while being a thought partner in seeking new opportunities, meaning and success. As your coach, I can accelerate your ability to hear the foghorn and see your beacon of light.

Questions for Reflection:
Do you currently live your life consciously?
What are the advantages of bringing more consciousness into your daily life?

11/2011
Shifting Styles

“I can show you the door, but you have to walk through it.” -Morpheus in the Matrix

Have you ever been in the situation where you see or know the answer for how to do things and the other person dealing with the situation doesn’t? Each of us have a dominant kind of style for handling situations, and each of the styles can be the most appropriate for any specific situation. But, what if we use the same style for dealing with every person we work with, and for every situation?

I have a client that came to me to wanting to work on his supervisory abilities. One of his staff persons was spending a large chunk of time complaining about the disrespect he felt he was encountering during the intake process for their services. My client was having difficulty as they had been spending a lot of time in the “check-in” phase of their weekly debriefs and was wanting to move beyond the employee’s “complaints.” My client was committed to being a good listener as it seemed important to set a good climate for their working relationship. Through our work together, my client realized that he felt uncomfortable because there was a part of him that wanted to “fix” the working relationships of his staff person and participants of their programs. Even though my client had begun asking questions to engage his staff person in resolving the complaints, the discomfort from wanting the problem to stop and saving time by telling his staff person how to fix it had remained. When my client became aware of the style he automatically moved into, he was able to reflect upon the real outcomes that he wanted and to create the kind of processes he wanted to use to get there. He began to understand how his reactions could lead to certain responses. He is now able to catch himself and change his style for responding, not “fixing” the situation for his employee, but coaching him to develop alternatives for relationship building and for the intake process. My client is building his staff’s capacity to serve their participants and helping his staff to be fully responsible for their own work. He has been able to create change by shifting and integrating into his actions something that is meaningful to him, helping his employee better deal with their participants. This shift is a huge transformative one, which is helping him be a better supervisor and team leader. And, he is feeling less angst about his supervision.

Returning to the reference of the door to which Morpheus referred in the Matrix movie. There may be one door to walk through. That door may open to many other doors. Or that door may be a revolving one. How can you make your best decisions about which door you walk through and how you walk through it/them? Are you conscious of walking through the door?

Questions to reflect upon:
Can you think of a time when your style or your response did not get you the desired result? How might you respond differently to get the desired response, or closer to the desired response? How much time are you willing to invest in the other person or on the situation to achieve the desired result?
How can you become conscious of your automatic responses?

10/2011
Identifying Power in Leadership

“The general belief about moral and character development [is] this is something that we learn at home, as adolescents. I actually think the formation of character is a lifelong process.

“Abraham Lincoln said that people think that the real test of a person’s character is how they deal with adversity. A much better measure of a person’s character is to give them power. I’ve been more disappointed with how people’s character is revealed when they’ve been given power.”—Professor Nitin Nohria

I read this interview with the Dean of Harvard Business School, in Wall Street Journal, 9/26/11. It resonated with me as we often see individuals rise to the occasion when faced with adversity. And yet, what is it about being stressed with expected outcomes and performance that it seems to make it so easy to lose one’s moral compass?

It seems to me that most of us don’t really believe that we have much power, especially power over institutions or groups of people. And yet, we are basically aware of our personal power to take responsibility for our own lives. How conscious are we of our own decisions when we are in positions of power? -When we are a manager or supervisor? -When we are the adult or parent? -When we are the leader of a group, even if it be providing a response in a group and everyone follows suit? -What kind of influence do we have? What are we consciously doing with that influence or power? Are these instances stories that you would be proud to share with persons you are mentoring or parenting?

Like Professor Nohria, I believe that one’s character and leadership are developmental and that we can take advantage of opportunities to continually grow.

Questions to reflect upon:
In reflecting where you are now, can you identify an experience that helped you grow? Knowing what you do now, is there anything that you would do differently? Is there a significant person who helped you develop your moral compass? How can that memory be a resource for you now?

09/2011
Flow

I was swimming laps one day. I generally swim twice a week. Although I usually have a day in between before swimming again, I had only swam once/week for a couple of weeks and decided to swim two days in a row. On the second day right after I entered the pool, I noticed a rhythm, one that I usually don’t feel until half-way into the work-out. It was refreshing, with no moments fighting myself to continue. It was a feeling of effortlessness, of being fluid with the water. I considered, is this a result of the daily regimen? I swam a third day in a row, and experienced being totally in the present moment. Even after returning to a twice a week swim routine, with at least a day in between swimming, I could feel this flow. I’ve tested this premise again when I felt myself forcing myself to swim. The discipline of swimming daily and focusing on being in the present allows me to glide along. Now whenever I swim, I try to remember what the flow looks like, sounds like and feels like, and I perceive that sense.

I believe that there are certain processes* that can help one to develop oneself. Reflection, focus, becoming congruent and experiencing flow all contribute to transformative growth (see past blogs, Reflection-9/2010, Focus-3/2010, Congruency-8/2011, 8/2010, 3/2008, Flow-5/2011). Focus asks for one’s full attention, clarifies the issues and helps us get comfortable with the discipline required. Flow is a dynamic process, an unfolding that can be tapped into by becoming more attuned to meaningful coincidence and harmony. Berlitz and Lundstrom in The Power of Flow, help us understand how we can practice certain techniques to surrender ourselves into more synchronicity and flow. They write that one way to increase flow into our lives is simply to notice it.

Lately, I’ve noticed flow, with potential clients. While attending a conference, there were specific persons I had hoped to meet with, but it didn’t work out. And yet, different persons came up to me and engaged me in conversations about potential avenues for expanding my services and I networked with people in a way that was interesting, easy and effortless.

Questions to reflect upon:
Have you noticed flow? What is meaningful about it? Watch, listen and be open to see how flow continues in your life.

*I am incorporating 3 coaching processes identified by Donald Gerard, MA, CHT, Relationship Coach, that he formulated as Clarity, Alignment, and Acceleration.

08/2011
Being Congruent and Changing Oneself

I have a client who has been exercising her leadership skills. With an eye to trying to balance the needs of the clients, her agency and those of the staff, she often felt overwhelmed and anxious at the prospect of taking corrective actions where necessary. In the short time we’ve been working together, she has changed dramatically, digging deep within herself and responding differently. “My thinking really has shifted. I feel more confident asserting my opinion and speaking my truths without undue regard for others’ reaction. I have new tools to use to continue to do the work on my own and I understand my own patterns better so that I can begin to change them. … I can feel the shift in my behavior; it’s not just an intellectual thing. And it feels so good. I can tell I am modeling better leadership—I am less tentative, more decisive and clearer about direction.” -Melissa

My client has caused me to remember that being congruent—aligning all the parts of one’s mind and body, is a key to change. Being congruent is a major component of making the kind of “shift” or transformation that can be sustained. I continue to learn from my clients and realize areas in which I’m not moving forward as I would expect and to explore how I can become more aligned in my business life as well as my community and personal lives.

Questions to reflect upon:
Remember a time when you successfully achieved a significant change where there was some initial internal conflict that was resolved.
What helped you move forward from point A to point B?
Was there something that helped you integrate your mind with your body?
What did the change look like, sound like and feel like?

07/2011
Appreciating Community

In my coaching with leaders, I have noticed that building community is such an important part of creating an environment where people are motivated, productive and happy. This past 4th of July week-end, I was reminded how enjoying community creates vitality and a sense of belonging. My dad is a retired farmer. In celebration of his 90th birthday, I brought some refreshments to the company next to the cooperative almond shed, where he hangs out. He comes here twice a day to visit and drink coffee.

When I was growing up, I understand that my dad used to regularly meet several farmers at a cafe. Only during the extremely busy harvest season did my dad not show up. My dad was actively farming until a couple of years ago, and we wondered what he would do after retiring. On week-ends, he and my mom started to drive north to where all of his daughters and most of his grandkids live. Yet, I wondered what he did with his week-days. Now after meeting his coffee buddies, and watching them relate, I can tell that this rhythm of going to coffee, provides him a structure for his day, a social outlet, and sense of community. Although a few of the same farming friends with whom he has been meeting for years still come, many of my dad's friends from his generation have passed away. This coffee group, is an avenue for my dad to enjoy people who are engaged in agricultural work and who, are primarily younger than he.

My mother has mentioned to me that when she told one of his fellow coffee mates, that if she and my dad were to physically relocate closer to their daughters, he would really miss them. The listener responded, and said, “I think we would miss him more.”

Questions to reflect upon:
When was the last time you felt a sense of community? What does it look like, sound like and feel like?
How would having a sense of community make a difference in your life presently?

06/2011
Summer and Transition

Summer is a kind of transition period. The regular school year is on hiatus. People often take time off, and enjoy the longer day light. Although many people may become busier with vacations and activities, we also seem to consciously slow down to enjoy the weather and outdoors. It’s almost summer time, yet there is cold and rain in California (and unusual non-seasonal weather in many other parts of the world.) I returned from my extended family’s annual Memorial week-end trip to Lake Tahoe--it was snowing at a time when in most years, people are enjoying water sports.

Like the weather on the cusp of the different seasons, during periods of transition, it can be more difficult to know what to expect. The truth of the matter is that we are always going through transition. William Bridges expresses how organizational and personal transitions take us through a rocky period after which we end something, followed by a period where we experience loss before we can fully start something new. He identifies this passage as the three stages of “endings,” “neutral zone” (middle ground), or period of psychological adjustment and “new beginnings.”

I remember the summers on the farm where I grew up with my sisters. Our farm of grape vineyards and almonds was quieter in June, except for when we had sweet potatoes. Helping with the irrigation—moving pipes in the morning and early evenings, was the primary chore for almonds and we didn’t help with the fall harvest of the almonds until we became adults. The grapes were harvested by other adult crews, so the primary task was pruning and “cutting of the middles,” which is what we girls did, and was reserved for the late fall and winter. However, in the row crop of sweet potatoes, there was always work to be completed—starting and moving siphon pipes and constant weeding. During our high school years in June, we packed nectarines and plums in the fruit sheds, as these crops had earlier and longer harvest seasons.

Busy or quiet, the rhythm of summer was always different from the rest of the year. We weren’t in school, and although it was very hot on the farm during June, with highs of 90-100 degrees, we were outside a great deal-- working on the farm, playing baseball and swimming. I often think of the transitions of the seasons on the farm when I am going through different changes in my life. Summer is a reminder for me that hard work can be invigorating, and that the pace of my life fluctuates. Summer also reminds me that life is full of transitions and that through these transitions I can learn to let go of the old before I fully embrace the harvest of life to come.

Questions to reflect upon:
If you are experiencing transition in any aspect of your work or life:
What things are ending? What might you be losing? How can you let go of the old?
As you move through this transition period, what is energizing you to a new beginning? What does this new energy look like, feel like, and sound like?

05/2011
Flow

“With ardent practice, may all the obstacles be removed.” -Nancy Clarke, yoga teacher.

I am the chair of the local Multicultural Community Center (MCC). It’s a wonderful group of board members, who are single-minded in our vision for building community and multicultural civic engagement. We are at a critical phase, that in order for us to continue providing the “space” and foundation for multicultural programming and community-building, we have to gear up into action. There are many issues within our processes where there has been “magic:” unexpected answers to what we are trying to create. Although there are many substantial meaningful coincidences of this type of magic, or what I’ve called “flow” in past blogs (Hustle & Flow, 5/08), I want to present this seemingly incidental convergence of events, as it worked for me personally. For months I had been trying to get the board to identify another monthly date to meet, as for the past year, I had not been able to attend another organization’s bi-monthly meeting that fell on the same day and time. It is my nature to organize meeting dates as early as possible, because I prefer to have things scheduled, so that I can be prepared and ready to fully participate. After the previous meeting, there appeared to be only one day of the month that all of us could attend and that did not conflict with one of the Center’s activities. It would have been quite hectic for me to commit to that day, and when I brought it up, another date, which I had advocated for earlier, opened up. Very soon, I was going to have to miss one MCC meeting if we did not change it, because I had agreed to present a workshop at the other organization’s meeting. Just going with the flow and focusing on the need to change the date, while staying open to the availability of everyone involved, we worked out a date that had no conflicts for any of us. Furthermore, had I pushed through a date in earlier months, that day would not have been open.

Question to reflect upon:
Do you notice a flow in your life? What is it? As you look for it, do you notice more welcome results?

04/2011
The Japanese Earthquake-Gaman

It has been very interesting for me to listen and read about the sharing of stories about the Japanese people during the aftermath of the Earthquake. Nicholas Kristof in the New York Times, 3//11/11, writes about how we could learn a great deal from “the perseverance, stoicism and orderliness” of the Japanese people in the aftermath of the Kobe earthquake. Not to say that the government’s handling of the 1995 quake was good, but how the culture of the people seems to provide a sense of “gaman,” or toughing it out that is “steeped into the collective soul.” He found this “collective resilience,” the stoicism and the automatic willingness to put the group ahead of oneself, and the acceptance of living with the natural world to differ from western culture. Growing up as a Japanese American, I can relate to how gaman, and how the collective belief of “shikata ga nai,” it can’t be helped, can be a resource for collective survival.

Sukeyasu Yamamoto, a nuclear physicist in Tokyo, who was educated at Yale, understands both Japanese and US culture. Christopher Joyce of NPR, http://www.npr.org/2011/03/24/134800624/in-japan-feelings-of-accept-pain-dont-complain?sc=17&f=1001, reported that Yamamoto believes that gaman might also be a factor in nuancing the devastation of the radiation from the radiation plants that have been crippled by the quakes. Since they need electric power, they feel “shikata ga nai.” Yamamoto also explains how younger people who haven’t lived through the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki may not connect nuclear power plants with atomic nuclear fall-out. Although there has been much education and a sentiment for understanding the destruction from nuclear energy, it seems to be fading from their cultural memory.

I know that people around the world grieve for the losses of life, worry for the safety of the Japanese people and the grave consequences and ripple effects of this natural disaster. I hope that we can learn many lessons from the Japanese people and from this disaster.

Question to reflect upon:
What beliefs have helped you be resilient in times of struggle?
Can you think of any beliefs that have provided a collective resiliency for your group/community?
Can you think of any beliefs that have camouflaged important perspectives?

03/2011
Radiating Effects of Transformative Change

I have been working with a client who has been dutiful and tends to accomplish things by persistence and hard work. She has become clearer and clearer about what is most important to her and what makes her happy. She is changing the way she thinks and the way she moves towards her desired outcomes. Even though working toward these goals may take “hard work,” she is beginning to see her efforts bear fruit. Her work has become less stressful. She is becoming more healthy, physically, mentally and emotionally. She has begun to see and acknowledge how her seemingly small “shifts” are affecting the people around her.

The effects of her changing in a transformative way are radiating outward and changing how her colleague, her assistant and her partner relate and respond to her. She is developing a new kind of energy that acknowledges her commitment, courage, passion, openness, appreciation and trust.

Question to reflect upon:
How do you see transformation happening for you in your work and in your life?

02/2011
Celebrating Traditions

Gung Hay Fat Choy (Chinese), chúc mừng năm mới (Vietnamese), Saehae bok man-hi ba-deu saeyo (Korean), Amar mend uu? (Mongolian), Tashi Delek (Vietnamese), Happy New Year. Although the celebration of my cultural calendar being Japanese American, is the same as the western calendar year, I recognize many similarities between the Japanese new year and other Asian lunar celebrations. Tsanaan San, a Mongolian holiday of white moon, is celebrated about the same time as the lunar new year, where candles are burnt to symbolize enlightenment. Most of the Asian new year celebrations include being with family. Koreans often visit their parents, families and ancestral grounds. The day before Losar, the Tibetan new year, is the last day of the year to cleanse and prepare which is a similar practice for Asian new year celebrations. On Losar, the Dalai Lama consults the Neching Oracle and people participate in a ritual of gratitude, giving offerings to the spirits, which basically are embodied within the elements of earth, fire, air and space.

Acknowledging the Lunar New Year, I am taking this opportunity to cleanse my mind and spirit, center myself, and reflect on what is really important in this moment. What do I have control of? What are the outcomes that are most important to move towards? How can I perceive signs that specific outcomes are just not meant to be? Am I open to hearing other alternatives that might be a better process or outcome than what I’m envisioning? Celebrating the lunar New Year is a reminder to align myself with the spiritual, not only the mental and physical. I invoke my 2011 year theme of Centering Self: Letting go of that which is not mine.

Working with multicultural clients, I am beginning to notice that there are many traditions that are good to keep and that some which may hold us back in our work. I work with each client in finding ways to honor the spirit of one’s cultural traditions while finding alignment in values and desired outcomes.

Questions to reflect upon:
What traditions do you celebrate that are meaningful to you?
What traditions do you celebrate that are good to keep? What do you like/enjoy about them?
What traditions might hold you back? What is it about engaging in the tradition that holds you back? What new traditions can you create to help you move forward?

01/2011
Appreciating Meaning

“Tom Landry wrote, ‘A coach is someone who tells you what you don’t want to hear, who has you see what you don’t want to see, so you can be who you have always known you could be.’ You are helping me in this way. Slow, but sure.’” -Joan, Small Business Owner

”I really appreciated your listening skills on our call the other day and your understanding of the nuances of non-profit culture and leadership.” -FH, Executive Director

Shinnen Omedeto, Happy New Year. I hope that 2011 ushers in the shifts and transformations that allow you to reach your desired destinations. As the 2010 year was ending, I was reflecting upon everything that I am thankful for. Many things around my coaching practice filled my thoughts. I am so appreciative of being able to accompany my coaching clients in their journeys to get “unstuck,” to become more balanced and effective in their work and lives. I am grateful that my clients trust me and are willing to share their stories. One of my core values is that coaching sessions are meaningful for my clients. I marvel at how each of us have unconscious habits and patterns which have kept us from hearing, seeing and figuring out the puzzle pieces in the current processes of our work and life journeys. I am filled with awe and reverence in the coaching sessions when I hear how each person has different strengths and how each person uniquely and creatively utilize their talents to deal with their challenges.

Recently, while reviewing the message from Joan, I realized that many times we seek discipline in our lives to help us reach our desired outcomes or the paths which we know we are called to walk. Joan’s reference to “slow, but sure” struck me. She values the changes that she is making in her life and appreciates the discipline and discovery about herself that she is creating through coaching. Through FH’s comment about my listening ability as a coach, I realize something else I receive from her and all other clients. Coaching provides a container where I am totally present. What a gift this is. Being present enhances meaning in my own life.

I am hoping we find meaning in the New Year. May 2011 bring you continual opportunities to experience the present.

Questions to reflect upon:
Reflecting upon 2010, what things are you thankful for? What events, experiences were meaningful to you?
How will these things that are meaningful help you to continue your journey and growth?

12/2010
Gratitude

Recently my partner returned to work after being out for a month as a result of falling from a 22-foot ladder. He doesn’t remember the actual impact of the fall, for which I am grateful, nor does it appear that he will sustain lasting disability. I believe that there were and continue to be a series of small miracles that happened, and for which the philosophy of gratefulness buoyed our spirits and helped us sustain a sense of calm immediately after the accident and which continues to help in the healing processes.

With an accident, I think one tends to just react. Immediately after the fall, I found Peter in shock and unable to speak. We both instinctually, tried to help him get up. All of a sudden, something told me to stop. I realized that he should not move, and we needed to get the ambulance. I ran inside to get my cell phone, and the 911 operator stayed with me until the paramedics arrived. The EMT officers asked which hospital we preferred, with one of the officers mentioning the name of the County hospital, which I knew had an excellent 24 trauma center. Before we got into the ambulance the respirator and IV were hooked up. The ambulance driver told me that, “His vitals are fine, we’re only taking him in as a precautionary method,” which was a little “positive” stretch of the truth. On the ambulance, I remember feeling thankful that Peter was OK, that we had the cell phone technology where I could phone for help while returning to Peter’s side, that the EMT and paramedics came so quickly, that we were going to the best trauma hospital in our area, that we had insurance, that I had seen Peter “schooch” his feet towards the board as they got him onto the guerney so that he probably did not have extensive spinal damage.

Since leaving the hospital, there have been a maze of specialists, doctors and dentists that needed to be coordinated. The timing of getting referrals, getting appointments and transferring medical records to was more complicated because the County hospital was not with our insurance carriers. I am grateful for the relatives that were accessible just at the right moments to help expedite these processes, many of which were coincidental and synchronistic. I am thankful that my husband had so many days of sick leave, and an understanding boss and coworkers, who graciously picked up many of the pieces of his workload. I am grateful for the friends, neighbors and family members who have been so supportive to us. I am grateful that I was able to take the time to be a caretaker and just be with Peter. In retrospect, it is clear to me that being in a state of gratitude precluded any room for fear. For the most part, my usual habit of worrying to figure out if I’m doing the “right/best” things, could not surface and take away my focus of being open to what needed my attention in any particular moment.

Questions to reflect upon:
Reflect on a period in your life when there was a crisis and a positive outcome. Notice what it feels like, sounds like, and looks like.
Has there been an experience that you have been grateful for? What shifted for you when you felt gratitude?
What are you presently grateful for? How does being grateful affect what you are doing now?

11/2010
Synergy and Being in Tune with One’s Team

The San Francisco Giants, just clinched the World Series. From a team of misfits and cast-off players, they played with heart and determination. Every night there were different heroes. Being a home team for me, it has been very exciting to not only watch them win, but experience how they fed off each other, never giving up and all responding about how they were just doing their part while giving props to their teammates. As the underdog team going into the Series, the Giants seemed to have an indomitable spirit that held them together, scoring so many of their runs when there were already two outs.

Both the Giants and Rangers had incredible pitchers. What helped the Giants do so well? What created the sense of team? What allowed them to play well until the end of each game? How did they play better with each series following the regular season? I think the Manager, Bruce Bochy’s leadership may have been pivotal in the disciplined playing, while being planned and in the moment with the changing currents of each game. In his laid back manner, he didn’t get overly excited, he seemed to be really in tune with the players, especially the pitchers, knowing when they were feeling “up,” and when they couldn’t quite deliver. He also seemed to know when to let his coaching manager call the changes and when to just decide. When the decision to change pitchers came, I’m sure that the pitchers may not have been happy, but, one could see that they accepted the decisions. They got to the World Series with their pitching, but may have well won the Series with the change-up of players. Bochy was unafraid to mix up the player roster and batting line-up. He strategically called upon different players at different times to create their strongest defensive or offensive plan for each game, inning and moment. And yet, it may well have been more than just leadership and great playing. I think the Giants created synergy, something that is stronger than the sum of its parts. Webster’s Dictionary-Thesaurus states synergy as “ combined and correlated force,” which when applied to a team, could be summed up as the concurrence of action from different parts of an organization. How delightful to watch such synergy in action!

Questions to reflect upon:
Having witnessed the synergy that took place with the Giants, how can it happen in your life? What would it look like, sound like and feel like?
If you have experienced synergy how did it affect you at the time? Now?

10/2010
Resiliency

Most people come to me as a coach in hopes of reaching specific outcomes in their work or their lives. The primary shifts that my clients make tend to be changing habits and becoming more resilient. This reminds me about the Ecological and Resiliency Model that I learned about while working in youth development. The Model identifies how multiple factors work together to help young people grow into healthy adults. These factors are illustrated through concentric rings with the individual being in the center sphere, and family, community and informal adult/peer relationships forming rings around the individual. These relationships become protective factors which help youth to grow and develop in a positive way. I wonder; how does this model change as we become adults?

What makes one person survive and thrive through the same environmental conditions that makes other individuals become victims of insurmountable troubles? What parts of this model for development still work for us and what parts don’t? Although we may not notice, the people and relationships represented by the different rings of family, community and formal/informal relationships keep changing. Our tendencies as creatures of habit are to go back to what feels comfortable and/or what has worked for us in the past, even if the particular behaviors may not be the most effective process for what we are presently encountering.

I believe that everyone has the potential to be resilient. As a coach, I will help you identify the resources within you and guide you to access these resources to be resilient in any challenging situation.

Questions to reflect upon:
How have family, community and other relationships been resources for you? What does it feel like, look like, sound like?
Think of a time when you were resilient, able to bounce back from a difficult time. What did it feel like, look like, sound like?

9/2010
Reflection

Have you ever made the same type of mistake over and over again? I have heard many persons say with regard to young people and young adult behavior, “Oh well, they’ll learn.” In reality, I’ve experienced that most of us don’t necessarily learn from mistakes. What is it that helps us identify what were the circumstances in which we made a mistake, what can we learn from it and how can we move forward and not get stuck again with a similar undesired result? I call this process “Reflection.” (In previous blogs, I have identified other processes* I use in coaching: Focus, 3/10; Congruency, or alignment, 8/10 & 3/08; and Flow, 5/08.)

In the learning and development field, it is said that it is not the experience from which we learn. It is Reflection upon the experience that is rich for learning and developing oneself. While stopping the process of continuing to act in the outer world, Reflection moves us through the inner journey of meaning and uncovering different perspectives.

In placing Reflection in context with learning and coaching, I’ll share an example from my life. I’m very committed to my work. Growing up on the family farm, my family survived, in part, because when there was watering of the crops, sprinklers that needed to be changed, hot beds of sweet potato plants that needed to be covered with plastic because of dropping temperatures, harvest that had to be completed before it rained and while we had possession of the shared harvest equipment, we dropped everything to help out.

I realize that I have approached my work with the same type of imminency. I remember suffering from an injury to the back of my left knee, getting a shot of cortisone which was not effective, and in fact further inflamed the leg. I went to work the next day because I had organized a photo shoot at numerous sites and rode with the camera persons and hobbled around. I owned a stick-shift and when I got inside my car to drive home, I knew I couldn’t drive home without considerable pain. I remember screaming in pain each time I used my left leg to shift gears. And while I learned that I needed to take better preventative care of my body, a few years later in my life when I incurred a back injury, I went ahead and overworked myself at critical junctures when babying my body would have avoided reinjury and other potential lifelong consequences. Reflection upon my behavior and responses, have helped me to take better care of myself.

In any given situation, Reflection helps me identify what has happened, any patterns of response that seem automatic, and allow me to create new ways of responding. Alternatively, when I have done something right, Reflection helps me understand the processes and how my reactions have moved me towards the desired outcomes. As your coach, I can assist you in achieving your goals through focus, reflection, congruency and flow.

Questions to reflect upon:
Think of a time in your life when you felt totally aligned with your existence, when everything felt right, and you were amazed at your good luck.
Why do you think this occurred? Why did it change? What changes could you make in your life right now to bring back that sense of alignment?

*I am incorporating 3 coaching processes identified by Donald Gerard, MA, CHT, Relationship Coach, that he formulated as Clarity, Alignment, and Acceleration.

8/2010
Being Congruent

A triangle is made up of congruent angles. The sides align perfectly to form the shape. Similarly to a triangle, when all the parts of one’s self are in alignment, one is congruent. When this is the case, there is no question about what one believes or what one is focused upon. One’s mind, body and spirit are in agreement, just like the sides of a triangle, and that energy is conveyed as confidence, self-assurance and inner strength.

When my clients are congruent about what they believe, they are able to make complicated and difficult decisions with ease. They report that their decisions are less questioned by other persons. Somehow the clients have conveyed their alignment and commitment to the decision. How does one become congruent? And since being congruent is a dynamic process, how does one stay congruent?

Congruency is a process of becoming whole, of getting and maintaining balance. The yin and yang are present, making it possible to get “unstuck.” Congruency is one of the processes*, along with Reflection, Focus, and Flow that I help clients use in coaching sessions to envision and achieve their goals. I introduced the concept of Focus, about how I noticed that athletes from the Winter Olympics were disciplined in my 3/10 “thoughts.” (I will touch upon Reflection and Flow in future ”thoughts.”)

I have had several clients who have were considering leaving their jobs. Until they became congruent about it, they were not able to take this step. I was impressed with the courage it takes to do so in this difficult economy. They recognized that they’ve finished what they came to do in their present positions and were ready to move onto the next step in their journeys. Along the way, it has been fascinating and satisfying for me to see their new-found confidence in all that they have achieved and all that they have to offer the world.

Questions to reflect upon: Think of a time when you were quite sure about your position, idea or decision. What did it look like, sound like, feel like?
How do people respond to you when you are congruent?

*I am incorporating 3 coaching processes identified by Donald Gerard, MA, CHT, Relationship Coach, that he formulated as Clarity, Alignment, and Acceleration.

7/2010
Resiliency & Learning New Things

"'You must speak clearly, … and be sure to get out at the right grate…’ ‘Don’t panic and get out too early, …’ Trying hard to bear all this in mind, Harry took a pinch of floo powder and walked to the edge of the fire.” -J.K. Rowling

This July 4th week-end, I was on the family farm reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Harry was thrust into a learning situation without much meaningful guidance which could have disastrous consequences. I turned to my older adult son, “Remember how Harry learned to travel by floo powder? That’s how I learned to do things on the farm, learning by necessity.”

I was referring to how I learned to drive when my father instructed me to “Bring the pick-up to the other ranch.”

It was interesting to hear my son’s response, “Learning that way could make you not want to learn something difficult, even when given the opportunity, because it’s discouraging.” I could relate to what he said. And yet, in my case with driving the car while being on the farm, having little pressure of other cars behind me if I stalled out the clutch, and ample time to make it to the field, I was able to learn by necessity. I believe this type of experience helped me to figure things out, while gaining this sense that I can do anything that I really needed to.

What provides us with the eagerness and confidence to explore new things and what makes us turn away from them? I wonder what opens us up to new experiences and what makes us become fearful and shut down? I think that acknowledging different natures in individuals may give us a clue. Perhaps recognizing one’s patterns or habitual ways of responding to past occurrences that were difficult may provide additional insight. This reflection moved me to begin pondering, “What makes us resilient?”

Questions to reflect upon:
Think of a time when you were thrust into a new learning environment and had positive outcomes. What did it feel like, look like, sound like and/or how did you figure it out? How would you use this new resource to open yourself up to new experiences?

6/2010
Being in the Moment while Calling Upon our Elders

Last month, a week before Mother’s Day, I was singing at a festival. I could tell that most of the people were not focused on the musicians, but were enjoying each other’s company, the good food and beautiful weather. I was physically tired after a couple of weeks of work helping to prepare for the event. I’ve sung in this festival for several years and my presentations tend not to be as strong as other venues where I only offer music. For a second I caught myself thinking, “what the heck am I doing here, this is probably too much for me and I should skip the singing next year.” And then, I heard a voice, saying, “just be in it.” I happened to be singing a song about my grandmother, and closed my eyes. I saw and felt her presence. I no longer felt tired, and by the end of my set, was energized again. My grandmother was a very strong woman, full of confidence. I remember how she toiled on the farm, nurtured her garden and was also quite musical and artistic. As Mother’s Day approached I recognized how powerful remembering our mothers and our grandmothers can be.

Questions to reflect upon:
What is it feel like in your body when you think of a loved one? What does it sound like, look like?
How might connecting with the memory of being with them help you be more in the moment?

5/2010
Laying the Groundwork for Change

“Nemawashi (根回し) in Japanese means an informal process of quietly laying the foundation for some proposed change or project, by talking to the people concerned, gathering support and feedback, and so forth. It is considered an important element in any major change, before any formal steps are taken, and successful nemawashi enables changes to be carried out with the consent of all sides.”—Wikipedia definition

I have many clients who put the priorities of the collective above their own priorities. The cultural values of western society values the individual goals before that of the collective. Both styles have their own strengths. I believe that it can be helpful for us to be conscious about which “lens” we are looking through. Having worked with many clients who value the collective and report being told that they lack leadership skills, I also hear their reluctance to “toot their own horns.” They may have difficulty fully expressing their contributions when asked, “How are you a good leader?” On the other hand, if they are asked, “What things have you done which have helped the group become more productive, work together better, move the group forward, problem solve in a more effective way, or lay the foundation for change or a project, they have plenty to say and identify efforts and results that may have gone unnoticed because major problems were averted. For persons who value the collective it may be easier or more natural to embrace and use nemawashi in their work and lives.

Wikipedia further describes the process, “Nemawashi literally translates as ‘going around the roots’, from 根 (ne, root) and 回す (mawasu, to go around [something]). Its original meaning was literal: digging around the roots of a tree, to prepare it for a transplant. Nemawashi is often cited as an example of a Japanese word which is difficult to translate effectively, because it is tied so closely to Japanese culture itself, although it is often translated as 'laying the groundwork.’ ”

Questions to reflect upon:
What subtle processes in your life have laid the groundwork for change within you?
How have these subtle processes continued to sustain the change?
How can you elicit these processes presently to influence change in your work or life?
How do you know that the change occurred? How are you seeing, feeling, hearing and doing things differently?

*Thank you to Kevin Uchida, LAc, OMD, for introducing me to the concept of nemawashi.

4/2010
Ritual of Silence

I had the opportunity to visit Japan again. The Tokyo area where we primarily stayed, is very dense in population. The hustle and bustle can be intense and most Japanese people take very few consecutive days for vacation—one or two days in conjunction with the week-end is considered a long time. As I toured some of the sites with my family, my cousins arranged for us to participate in the partaking of green tea. One occasion was in the outdoor bamboo gardens, where there was a natural waterfall with beautiful landscaping within the large bamboo that was only a few months of age, and another time was in a tea room looking into a castle garden where the sakura (cherry trees) were blooming. Both times, the ritual of receiving and drinking of tea were in quiet. The second time was quite ceremonial yet, with the reverence of silence. I can still remember the sounds of the water, the bristle of the wind, and the deliberateness of the person serving the tea. Amidst these two different places, a “new” bamboo garden, that is constantly being cut back, and the garden of a 600 year-“old” castle, I experienced the same feeling. In these moments, I could feel beauty and peace abound.

At the castle there were two different rooms, one for tea and one for coffee. I realized that in the US, we also have rituals around coffee, although when people meet with others for coffee, it is generally to talk and socialize. I began to wonder how I could create rituals that offer the opportunity for me and for those around me to step into the silence where we can fully experience the moment.

Questions to reflect upon:
Have you experienced a sense of fullness through silence and stillness? How did it look, sound and feel? How can you take that moment and integrate it into the next moments?

3/2010
Discipline and Focus

I enjoyed the Winter Olympics. It was amazing to watch the athletes trying to hit their peaks at a particular time, while competing under tremendous amounts of pressure. I was struck by a comment that Lindsay Vonn blurted out immediately after winning the gold medal in alpine skiing. She was crying and said, “My whole life…, I’ve worked so hard for this.” I’m sure that all of the athletes at this caliber work hard and it’s just not this element that makes them champions. Yet, she was clear about her need to work hard. Commentator and previous gold medalist in men’s skating, Scott Hamilton, spoke about how figure skater, Evan Lysechek, worked hard, retooled himself, presented the whole package and came back with a flawless program which garnered him the gold. I realized that with the words of “hard work” these persons were referring to consistent practice and the “discipline” of that practice. Katherine Reutter, who won medals in the short-track rink, found ways to maintain her focus. She would practice by the Chinese flag, to remind herself of their work ethic. At other times she would bicycle by the US flag, which spurred her on to finish her work-out.

Discipline is one of the processes* that I help clients establish and find within themselves in reaching the outcomes or changed behaviors that they desire. Coaching allows clients to find their focus and to discover what motivates them to maintain their discipline. As a coach I use strategies that help clients Reflect, Focus, reach Congruency (become fully aligned) and then experience Flow, or move easily and effortlessly towards their goals. I have incorporated the process of discipline into Focus: Focus brings about clarity and concentration, which can lead to habit or practice. It is a process of getting grounded and creating the mindset that opens the way for removing any obstacles. In my coaching work, marketing, growing in my coaching abilities and fully completing my work are my practice. In my life, enjoying music through singing and playing the flute are important hobbies for which I have established a practice to continue growing and receiving the uplifting energy they give me. Swimming, walking, stretching, doing weights and yoga, are part of the discipline which keeps me mobile, pain free and heart healthy. Meditating is a discipline that contributes to wholeness in my life. All of these disciplines help me maintain balance and appreciate being alive. (More about the other processes of Reflection, Congruency, and Flow in future “thoughts.”)

Questions to reflect upon:
What are the disciplines/practices that make you a top rate leader, learner, entrepreneur, educator, artist, parent, spouse, child, citizen of the world?
Do you remember a time in your life that discipline helped you focus on achieving the outcome that you wanted? What did it feel like, look like, or sound like?
Can you become disciplined in other areas of your life to create similar results?

*I am incorporating 3 coaching processes identified by Donald Gerard, MA, CHT, Relationship Coach, that he formulated as Clarity, Alignment, and Acceleration.

2/2010
Coming Home

I have a colleague with whom I offered to be a sounding board regarding her role in leadership of a professional organization. She is bright, visionary, committed and tireless in creating meaningful outcomes. She also reflects upon her experiences. My friend recently moved to another part of the country to join her significant other, which also includes a ready-made family of children and pets. She loves her new life, and is very happy, yet her voice sounded more tired than I ever remember hearing in her. She longed for uninterrupted time for problem solving and getting her “bearings,” in the new surroundings of geography, family and community. I took her through an exercise of visualizing a time and place that she was at her best. The words she associated with this optimal problem solving space were “feeling grounded” in the physical, mental and spiritual realms. She recreated a walk in her mind of her former residence, one that she took whenever she felt “stuck.” Through this process, she recognized that some of her discomfort with this new house and neighborhood was likely a “throwback to the negative emotions” she was experiencing way back as a teenager, which was the last time she lived in a similar setting. With this new understanding, she began to feel differently about her new residence. To make a long story, or a continuing story short, she received a GPS from her mother, which has helped with the physical grounding. She is still working through the implications of the childhood emotions. And yet, several days after our conversation, she reported returning from an out of town business trip to her new residence, and it felt like “coming home.” Home for her, is a powerful place where she can feel safe, resourceful and open to living in the present.

I do believe that coaching helps clients to “come home” where they can appreciate and develop the “best” that is within themselves. I’d love to accompany you in your leadership and life journeys of “coming home.”

Questions to reflect upon:
Reflect back in time, to a place where you had positive feelings and where you felt safe. It can be a building, a place in nature or an inner sanctuary.
How has it helped you when you are experiencing difficulty?

1/2010
Shinnen Omedeto, Happy New Year

In Japanese culture, on the days prior to New Year’s day, one is supposed to pay all their bills, clean their houses, and basically get one’s personal and business lives in order. On the days prior to New Year’s, one is supposed to pay all their bills, clean their houses, and basically get one’s personal and business lives in order. Tradition has it that on New Year’s day one does not work or cook, and enjoys family and friends, eats mochi in ozone (rice-cakes in soup), sushi, oden (Japanese stew), kuromame (good luck beans), tai fish, gobo (root that is sliced thinly with teriyaki flavor), gomame (crunchy little fishes), namasu (stringed daikon radish and carrots with vinegar) and other dishes that each family seems to have added to their celebration.

I remember one New Year’s season, when my grandmother, who lived in a house next door in the same country driveway, was confined to the bed due to cancer. Several of her granddaughters were working on different dishes and we ran over and asked her how to make a particular food, and step-by-step, we learned how to recreate many things that she had been making all of our lives. I find it interesting that I remember these moments above the eating of New Year’s foods. Even with her illness and not physically being able to show us, we learned. It was all the more remarkable because from the time my grandmother fought cancer, she began speaking only Japanese, and our capacity of the language was quite limited. This was a special time of being handed down some of our traditions.

I understand that in Japan, the knowledge of cooking many of the traditional foods has been lost because one can buy them already prepared. There are fewer persons who cook these things here in the US, too, because it’s very time-consuming and in many ways we may not fully appreciate the time and effort to prepare them, nor what they represent. And yet, many Japanese American families still celebrate Oshogatsu as the New Year begins. From my mother- and sister-in-laws, I am continuing to learn the names and symbology of New Year’s dishes. I am reminded that rituals in which I participate, I always have the ability to choose or change how I incorporate the meaning of each celebration. It is with a sense of appreciation that I acknowledge the passing of 2009 and stay open to new life, new growth and courage to experience life in 2010. I am grateful for all of the things I have experienced this past year and thank each of you for the part that you have contributed to my learning and meaning in life.

Questions to reflect upon:
How has a significant person in your life influenced who you are now?
What are rituals in your family or culture that you appreciate and value?

12/2009
Thanksgiving/Unthanksgiving

With my younger son and husband, we attended “Sunrise at Alcatraz” on the day dubbed the Thanksgiving holiday. It was the 40th year commemoration of the occupation of Alcatraz, when Native Peoples came to the island to put into action a law that says that federal lands which were not being used could be claimed by Native Americans. As the sun came up, it was a beautiful day, warming up our cold bodies as we listened to the drumming and connected with the history of our country’s unjust treatment of Native people. The first occupation of Alcatraz was a galvanizing event that started the civil rights of Natives. I’m thankful for the opportunity to remember that amidst all of our joyful family traditions, including the spirit of thanks for the bounty of the harvest, and friends and family, in order for me to fully hear my soul, I want to consider and remember that Thanksgiving and Columbus Day are grieving periods for Indigenous people. I began to wonder, how do whole communities of people heal from the travesty of massacre and domination?

It is interesting--for some time I have wanted to attend this Sunrise event. For me, “Thanksgiving” has always been about family and community. Growing up on the farm, this day symbolized time to reflect upon the fall season--for the bounty of the harvest, gratefulness for the hard work and time with extended family. This time, being at Alcatraz, I felt privileged to be with the Native community and puts a damper on our celebratory mood. Going to the Sunrise Ceremony helped me hear their stories of courage and perseverance. I heard the word, “Unthanksgiving” and it made sense.

I have been searching for ways to put in alignment these two different meanings of this day. Over 15 years ago, I wrote an article for the University of California’s youth program and school-age childcare newsletter, about how the November and December holidays might not be so joyous for all people. I touched upon how the history of how Thanksgiving and Christmas are not really inclusive for many persons. I was somewhat surprised to receive so many angry responses and notes that I didn’t have the facts. It seems that each of us come from different perspectives and carry emotions around our celebrations, especially religious holidays. I understand that being reminded about our country’s inhumane treatment of Natives really puts a damper on our celebratory mood. Going to the Sunrise Ceremony helped me process this day, and move closer to making meaning of this day. I continue to reflect upon this experience and how rituals influence what I do.

Questions to reflect upon:
Are there rituals in your life that affect what you do?
Which of these rituals have a positive influence on your life?
How has it helped you when you are experiencing difficulty?

11/2009
Double Edged Reality

In a coaching session, a South Asian Indian woman was recalling a time when she was feeling very successful. We were going to use this memory with a new challenging situation. She had owned her own flower design studio. While at the wholesale flower market, she could see the beautiful flowers smiling at her, and their scents filling the space while the sun shined on her and warmed her spirits. She was very good at her work and knew the flowers were bringing joy to her and her customers. In recalling this story she suddenly fell silent. She had flashed upon the reason that she left the flower business--persons saw her come in with clothes befitting a florist, yet, treated her like she was a hired hand, speaking with her like she was "less than" a person. She mentioned how she had grown up with privilege, and although she didn't care that persons may think she was a helper, rather than an owner, she eventually decided that that she couldn't stay healthy in this type of environment. At the end of the session she thanked me for the cathartic healing of that moment. I thought it was interesting that she had chosen for a recollection of "feeling successful," one that contained both a joyful and a painful experience at the same time, like a double-edge sword.

I realized that when a person experiences prejudice, his/her moments of success can be paired with the soft bigotry of low expectations. For her it was like a double-edged sword that many people don't recognize cuts both ways.

Questions to reflect upon:
Have you had an experience of being perceived differently? How did it feel? How did you arrive at this view?
Now that you reflect upon the discomfort of your own experience, have you ever inadvertently or purposely looked down on someone? How does that make you feel?
Now that you've reflected on both of these experiences, and having greater perspective and resources, how would you respond differently?

10/2009
Habits: Relationships

"In a dynamic and healthy relationship, you need to go into it willing to be changed.”

I have written several blogs about habits--creating new ones, sustaining them and changing undesired ones. I offer this particular story because relationships are critical components of our work and our lives. Our behavior in relationships become habits, and we may not be aware of them or that some habits in our relationships have changed.

I was listening to a client converse about how he was coaching a colleague who had another business. His colleague was bemoaning how in his interactions with his partner they kept opposing each other’s ideas. My client responded, “In a partnership you’re not going to have everything you want.” He later added, “A marriage is the same thing.” I responded that you can’t expect the other person to change. And then my client offered the pearls of wisdom, about the inner journey, the transformative change we can make if we enter relationships with the willingness to be changed.

How much of our lives are spent wanting to change other people? How effective are our efforts? How much time do we spend trying to change ourselves? Do we notice when our relationships offer us opportunities to change and grow? For me, these words were quite humbling and produced many things to think about.

Questions to reflect upon:
When did you notice that you made a positive change in the past?
How did this change affect the people close to you?
What if you could make a change now? What would it feel like, sound like and look like?

9/2009
Letting Go of Things

I recently coached a client who had just retired. He had gone through all of his materials from work and had many training binders, books and papers that he had culled down from his library and files to 20 boxes. He had more boxes from the home of his sibling and parents which had been in his garage for over a year. To place the client's personal habits into perspective, he is not the typical "saver," who holds onto "stuff," and mentally he really wanted to get rid of these boxes. He knew he was at an impasse. In the first session, we explored the positive intention of why he kept getting this feeling in the pit of his stomach every time he earnestly began to sort through any of the boxes. In the process, he discovered there were totally different reasons for why he was having difficulty getting rid of the contents from his work and from his family home. The interesting part was that we hadn't fully completed the exercise, but it was the right time to stop. He had negotiated with himself to look at the things and keep some of what he really did need for some facilitation roles that he was still conducting in his retirement. He called me the next morning, saying that within the two hours at the end of the day, he had been able to not only go through three of his work boxes, but that funny feeling had disappeared. It wasn't there anymore. We met together for a couple more sessions and although at the close of each session, he wasn't fully convinced that the issue was resolved, he noticed progress. Strangely enough, within the same or following days of each session, he moved through another 6 boxes. I heard from him again when he reported completing the 20 boxes. After a fourth coaching session, the client is enjoying the process of going through the boxes from his family home, having developed a creative way for remembering and preserving the memories. I was astonished with the pace at which he accomplished these tasks. He already knew the primary reason why it was difficult for him to let go when he came to me, and being able to explore the attachment to the "stuff" allowed him to make record time in going through them. It made me think about some things in my life where I am stagnant. What am I attached to and what am I holding onto?

Questions to reflect upon:
What are you attached to?
What are the positive intentions of these attachments?

8/2009
Changing Direction and Sustaining Change

Last month I reflected about "Sustaining Change" and I wanted to elaborate a bit more about one concept I included, about "changing direction." As a child, I was chubby and pretty much up until my 30's, I was very careful with my eating and exercise habits to achieve and maintain a healthy weight. Often, it seemed easier to just stay away from my culprits of overeating, even when friends/family would say, "oh just have it this one time." Even when I was maintaining my target weight, it was difficult to say "yes," only occasionally when I desired a treat and really wanted that particular treat. It was as if continuing to go in the same direction was easier than to entice myself to just go back to eating the "banned food" whenever it was available, without thinking about the choice I was making to eat it. In the past 20 years, maintaining a healthy weight has not been as significant an issue for me, even with my changing metabolism and body fluctuations due to aging. Once I was able to find tools for learning how to change direction, one decision at a time, this approach could be incorporated into my life as a new direction.

Interestingly enough, my husband has recently embarked on a whole new way of eating, and has been told by his doctor that he is at a healthy weight. He said to me, "I didn't eat the Neldam's chocolate dream cake, even though I love it, because it's easier to just to skip it." My son, who, like me avoids wheat and sugar to maintain allergy-free symptoms, often says, "I don't want to eat any sugar, (the lesser of the two allergens), because "if I start, I can't stop." Eating just one bite of dessert/candy or food with sugary sauce, starts a spiral where he fears will get out of control.

Dieting and learning healthy ways of eating and exercising are not rocket science. Incorporating the changes in one's life seems to be the difficult part. It took me years to develop the strategies for my own weight control. I know that coaching could have accelerated that process of changing direction. Moreover, coaching could have provided me with resources for sustaining the positive habits over time. Coaching is a great method for helping one change one's habits and experimenting with moderating processes for one's life. Coaching can help one discern whether modifying one's patterns are healthy and help one create that new direction. It can also support one in aligning oneself to achieve one's goals. Each person's path towards improvement may differ from another person's. Whether it be about eating, exercising, getting more sleep, bringing your projects/dreams to fruition, reacting differently to one's boss, employee, lover, significant other, coaching can help you change direction and sustain that change.

Questions to reflect upon:
What is one positive thing that you changed direction in during in your life? What do you think sustained the change?
What if, you take a moment to stop and reflect. Reflect on how you responded differently to a situation that gave you positive results. What did it look like, sound like or feel like?

7/2009
Sustaining Change

Recently one of my college-aged sons, who's away at college, came home because he had caught a cold severe enough to keep him out of school and work for a few days. I began making associations with patterns of how people learn to take care of themselves. I hear how my clients work themselves into the ground before realizing that their bodies have given them notice. It popped into my mind, how I have continually made adjustments to learn how to take care of my body. I remembered how I got very sick when I was in college and worried about the intensive summer school class I had just started, and couldn't make it to the first day of school. From that experience, did I learn how to listen to my body, explore what was going on inside and link it up with what was going outside my body? I remember wondering if I'd ever get well but don't recall observing signals to prevent future episodes. It's interesting because I think that as soon as I get healthy, I forget what it's like to be sick. I think there's a positive side to this in that I don't dwell in the discomfort, and also another aspect that allows me to go down the same path of not noticing my body until it's too late for preventative methods. I think this type of habit is similar with other patterns in our lives that we want to change. We are not in tune with our ways of responding to our lives that are automatic until some major impasse demands that we notice or ask for different strategies. For example, we don't really hear ourselves saying, "I'm feeling sick," and understanding the importance of it with our subsequent actions.

With a little more reflection, I realized that after I was ill, I took good care of myself, and was fortunate to have persons around me who supported me in healthy patterns of taking care of myself. In my personal timeline, it wasn't until I was working a supervisorial job with tremendous responsibilities and pressures that I again remember driving myself until I dropped. I remember one instance where I was pretty sick and also had a minor injury to my leg, which prevented me from driving my manual shift car to work sites. With the cold, I remember my doctor saying that it was probably better to stay home for a day, instead of medicating myself to go to work, be ill for a longer period of time, and perhaps miss more days of work. Come to think of it, I needed more than my doctor's words to change my pattern. I eventually incurred a back injury and was suffering chronic pain. I had established the habit of swimming and walking, which were helping with my stress and back mobility. I didn’t know if I should skip them because I felt cold symptoms. She responded, "When people are going in a certain direction," (in this case my keeping to the exercise regimen) "it's hard to stop.” In her observation, “most people continue going in the same direction." These words were the beginning of some very powerful understandings that I have about myself. Just stopping and changing direction for one time, for one day could make a difference. I already knew that I had difficulty making good decisions when I was sick or stressed, but learning to listen to my body, allowing it to give me signs about my physical, mental and emotional health has become a lifelong process.

One other observation I've made about learning from experience. I don't think that people automatically learn from their mistakes. For example, I kept getting sick and not noticing, not hearing my body, not stopping or changing my pattern until I was too sick to do anything else. So, how did I change this pattern? It was not until I recognized the pattern and reframed how I responded. After I learned to rely on new resources, instead of staying in automatic pilot, could I shift gears. Coaching can help clients reflect, reframe and shift their personal habits and patterns. Coaching can accelerate these processes, so one can learn from their experiences and change their lives.

Question to reflect upon:
What resources make you resilient?

6/2009
The Joy of Letting Go: Graduation & Parenting

This is the season for graduation: a ritual for young people as well as for parents and significant adults who have been responsible for them. My younger son walked through college ceremonies this Spring. Parenting has always been the most rewarding and challenging aspect of my life, and I notice this is the case for many of my clients, friends and colleagues.

With my type of personality, it would have been easier for me to just totally “let go” of parenting when my children entered college. When I went through college, financially I was on my own and worked to pay for it. Times are different now, and it’s extremely difficult for a person to go through college without some financial assistance. Yet, parenting isn’t only about financial support. It’s about relationships. I know that I am incredibly fortunate that my parents have been there for me. As our young people matriculate through pre-school, middle, high, college, and graduate schools; other training programs, and when they enter and move through the work world, that wonderful relationship of being a parent can still exist. It just changes. A parent gets to “let go” of the responsibility and enjoy the changing relationship. With nurturance and some luck, I believe the relationship keeps on growing and changing.

From the time my boys entered high school, I tried to step back and let them take initiative and responsibility for their classes and routines. There were a couple of times when by their words and actions I could see I needed to accompany them when going to see a teacher, counselor or principal. It would have been far more comfortable for me to not go and not get the feeling that other people think I’m this pushy parent. I now realize that my choices around supporting them in this way rested upon whether I felt they could learn from the situation, and whether the environment would make it difficult or impossible to do so. My role was to be there so they could talk through their situation and make their own decisions. Throughout their college experiences, entering the work world and developing their own communities, my husband and I continue to hear their processing around their decision-making. Looking back, I recognize that the process of helping them sort out their objectives, supporting them as they developed their own way to weave through the possibilities for deciding and helping them make their own decisions were the real “parenting” issues. That role is very similar to the coaching role. Although it’s delightful when our children ask for our (their parents’) opinions, I’m finding it much more interesting to watch them discover their own journeys. That’s really the same thing that a coach does. However, with parent and child, it’s easy to move back into the familiar role of the parent taking responsibility for the child. (Thus, a good reason for young adults to have a coach who is not their parent or mentor.)

Questions to reflect upon:
For parents: What have you or your child recently “graduated” from? What did you let go of/what are you letting go of?
For everyone: What are significant changes in your life this past year? What transitions surprised you? Knowing what you know now, what would you do differently now and in the future?

5/2009
Confidence: Being Different and Fitting In

I recently returned from a trip to Japan, which was primarily personal but had some business meetings. I’ve only visited Japan once before. The experience was different this time. When I first visited Japan 28 years ago, I was conscious of entering an unfamiliar culture, especially with my limited knowledge of the Japanese language. This time, all of the subway signs were in English (as well as Japanese) and the hotels and information desks in the Tokyo area seemed to have persons who had a great deal of English facility. The experience didn’t feel much different from driving through Asian communities of California, where there are bold shop signs in two languages. (Note: I’m not inferring that Japanese and Asian American cultures are the same—just that the external visuals and the usage of the English language provided me with a feeling of familiarity.)

It was a perfect time to visit Japan, with the blooming of the “sakura” cherry blossoms and watching how the Japanese people engaged in the reverence (and commercialism) of celebrating Spring. Visiting extended family relatives, meeting with friends with whom we’ve not seen in 3 decades, while also renewing relationships with business friends, it was a time for me to connect with things from the past and present and to take in a breath for the future. Getting on and off the subway, I noticed Japanese people walking with the physical posture of confidence. I thought to myself how, although I’ve seen many Asians in the U.S. with good posture, this “air” of confidence was different. For me, it reflected being in the majority, fitting in and being part of the norm. Although through conversations in Japan and elsewhere with international, bicultural and multicultural persons I am aware that even if one is in the majority culture, individuals feel differences; I was reminded that there is a great deal of energy wrapped up in noticeable differences. Some of the learnings that I may glean from this observation include: How does the kind of person I am trying to become carry oneself? How does a spiritually evolved person carry oneself? How does a good listener carry oneself? How does a leader carry oneself?

Questions to reflect upon:
What differences do you notice about yourself when you enter into an unfamiliar culture?
In your workplace, how does the leadership of a person from a different culture affect you personally?

4/2009
Transformative Change: Developing Oneself and Creating New Habits

I’ve been engaging in a year-long coaching job with several people who supervise staff that work with youth. Unlike most of my clients that come to me with specific issues that they want to develop, I was assigned to them. They weren’t necessarily requesting coaching, and yet all of them developed a leadership development plan. They accomplished transformative changes—shifts within themselves, not just adjusting or controlling results for one particular action. I’ve come away with a great appreciation of their commitment to developing young people, which is very inspiring considering the institution in which they work. One of the insights that I’ve gleaned from this experience is that coaching supports people in developing new habits. These habits include gaining perspective from persons with whom they were having “issues,” and reframing how they (the clients) were dealing with the issues. Some clients developed new ways of dealing with stress, eating more healthy, and avoiding excessive drinking or other addictive-type behaviors. Other clients became more conscious about choosing their responses to situations in which they have very little control.

These shifts took a certain amount of courage to be willing to deal within their individual selves. I witnessed resolution in both outcomes and inner turmoil. As a coach, I did not provide the answers, but facilitated the processes for them to develop new ways for dealing with their lives and moving towards the worlds they are creating.

Questions to reflect upon:
What habits are working well for you professionally and personally? What habit would you change that would give you greater flexibility?

3/2009
Letting Go: Emptying Self of the Practice

One of my teachers said that in yoga we move towards “emptying self of the practice.” I was not sure what she was talking about. Does emptying oneself mean letting go of my attachments? Is it being in the here and now, so that I’m not carrying excess baggage? Is it detaching so that I can fully engage in the beauty of this moment? Is it letting go of my own ego and seeing myself from other perspectives? I think it may be all of these things. I find in my own life’s journey and in accompanying my clients, letting go of my ego is powerful.

I was working with a client helping him see events from three different perspectives: from his own eyes, through a person he works with and then in the third person viewpoint. When he stepped into the last position, he said, “Oh now you’re making me care about this person,” (-the person he works with). I laughed and said, “No one else is really in this room, but you can choose what you want to do with any information that you gain from these perspectives.”

Reflecting about how this type of perspective shift occurs, I realized that “emptying myself of the practice,” can help me see from a different lens. For myself, this is the kind of continual transformation and insight that I desire.

Questions to reflect upon:

What are you attached to?
What has holding onto your perspective or point of view given you?
In this particular situation, what is it that you really want or feel called to do?

2/2009
Transitions

In my coaching practice, I am continually reminded that we are going through transition. Transition means some things are “ending”, and we may be going through a “middle zone” of psychological change before we can move on to “new beginnings.” I was listening to a client speak about how his schedule was changing for the third time this year, only three months before the regular annual change. Schedule changes cause uncertainty about which shift or floating shifts each person will have and affect the employee configurations within departments. They can produce feelings like “loss of control,” typical during transition. I’ve seen how disruptive and stressful this change has been for the entire organization. My client said he was trying to not focus so much on it, not worry about it, even though he knew everyone was pretending that it didn’t bother them.

I suggested that he might want to use different language instead of negative language like “not focus” in his thinking, as the brain has difficulty processing the negative and tends to filter around it, subconsciously viewing it as the affirmative command of “focus,” which is what the person is trying to avoid. I asked him if he’d like to set an intention about what he wants to focus upon, instead of what he wants to not focus on. He replied, “No, I’ve sent a memo about which extra week-end shifts I can work and know that I’ll speak up for myself if the new schedule simply won’t work with my family needs.” He basically was telling me that he’ll do what he needs to do and seemed to have a healthy attitude about it. He and his fellow supervisors had collectively put together suggestions for schedules with each change, including this time. He wouldn’t know when the new schedules would come—it could be anytime within the next two weeks before the new shifts were implemented. He had told me that he hadn’t wanted to come to work that day, but did so, anyway because of additional workload that had been piled upon him. He was also eagerly awaiting a week-end trip which he felt would be a good distraction for him.

I realized that he was moving himself in a very positive direction by focusing on his trip. My statement about using the negative, might have been helpful, but didn’t address the crux of the situation. My query about setting an intention had the result of focusing on an outcome for his schedule. Being in transition about his schedule, he didn’t need to focus on the outcome of his schedule because he really didn’t have any control over this change. I remembered William Bridges, a guru of transition, outline four principles of transition: show up, be present, tell the truth and let go of outcomes. My client was following all of them. Once I realized that my client knew what was best for him during this transition, it was a matter of asking specific questions for him to continue to access resources that help him through transition.

Questions to reflect upon:
Do you remember a time in your life that you realized that you were going through a transition?
Reflecting back, what were the positive factors that helped you through your transition? What would you do differently now, having the resources that you learned from past experiences?

1/2009
Hope in our Leadership

"Black Man Given Nation’s Worst Job,” Onion, November 5, 2009.

“This is the first time I’ve ever felt proud to be an American.”-Donald Gerard, principal of Prism Coaching, a culturally-aware coaching collective, on Veterans’ Day, November 11, 2008.

“State Jobless Rate hits 9.3%--A 15 year High, SF Chronicle, January 24, 2009.

We were there—all 2 million of us. My family stepped onto the Metro subway at 5 am, moved with wall-to-wall persons in the dark, claimed a spot on the Washington mall in the 20 degree weather at 6:15. We became friends with the diverse group of people around us, felt grateful to make space and sit down for a couple of hours, huddling next to each other, gaining warmth.

The jumbotron (large TV screens) came on about 8 a.m., replaying the star-studded concert from the Sunday before at the Lincoln memorial. They handed out flags to everyone. People got up and danced, and moved around to keep warm and enjoy the celebratory mood. Being rather short, and with the movement and flag-waving, I could see glimpses of the ceremony through the jumbotron. Finally, about noon, our President, the first African American, (that we know of) took oath. I cried, along with millions of others, sharing in the moment, cognizant of the historic moment, while understanding how the impact of this process has strengthened persons feeling of belonging to this country.

After the election of President Obama, a colleague of mine shared with us the pride he had in being an American, something he hadn’t particularly noticed before. I think I understand how he feels. I also think everybody else in the National Mall felt the inclusiveness that this administration is building. I believe the trek we made to Inauguration is a continuation of the grass-roots organizing of his campaign and a journey of service towards building a better nation and world. Amidst these difficult and uncertain economic times, I feel hope.

Questions to reflect upon:
Electing Obama as President has given us hope in our own leadership, in the possibility of being a leader, and making a difference in our community and nation.

Community leadership is not limited to traditional roles such as elected officials, bank presidents and executive directors. It can mean roles such as journalists, teachers, organizers, parents and volunteers. Fill in the blanks:

If I shut my eyes, and let go of my fear, my dream leadership role in the community of _______ would be ___________. I know I have skills related to this area, which are ___________, and I want to learn more about __________. I can create change within myself and influence everything around me.*

*Thanks to Coro Foundation and Niel Tam for the idea for these reflection questions.

12/2008
Gift Of Ourselves

"Holidays with the family is a period of transitions. In a way it is like stepping back to the past, but at the same time noticing the subtle change in the present. Some of the habits are deeply embedded, yet new habits continue to manifest themselves. It is a period where we can reflect, observe and at the same time be thankful for where we are today and to enjoy the present, and be present with new eyes, new ears and new feelings, and being thankful of the opportunities that happened this year."—Nielsen Tam, School Board Member, Former Principal and Community Leader

I was listening to a speaker talk about Alzheimer’s and how it causes persons to lose short-term memory while retaining things from their past and how almost childlike, persons with Alzheimer’s live their lives “in the moment.” I remembered how I marveled at my kids when they were young and how living in the moment brought us so much joy. The boys were playing, fully enjoying each other’s company and we needed to go somewhere so that we would “be on time” and celebrate with extended family. I had been focused on getting things in the car and leaving. For a moment, when I was able to stop and share in their happiness, something within me shifted. Their lives were a wonderful cue for realizing what was important to them and how I could refocus my life to experience the same kind of joy. Their presence and sharing of themselves were bigger gifts than I could ever ask for. Moreover, being in the present was the best gift I could give them. These thoughts coalesced and I began thinking about how during the holiday season, amidst the hustle and bustle we all can give and receive this gift. Hearing the speaker on Alzheimer’s reminded me that living in the present can provide a perspective of the past, while opening up the potential for new discoveries.

This year many persons are saying they would rather not exchange presents, even if in the past they were exchanges of simple, baked or hand-made things. We know the economy is slow and donations are down, therefore focusing away from the materialism of our lives and giving more to people and communities in need may be different ways that we can celebrate with meaning. These actions also remind me that being present in the moment, giving fully of myself with this moment, may be the most meaningful gift. And it’s something that I have the opportunity to give and to receive everyday.

Questions to reflect upon:
What does being present with a person look like, sound like and feel like for you?
How does the past affect how you act in the present?

11/2008
Harvest Time on the Farm

I grew up a Japanese American Christian farming community. Thanksgiving was a time to celebrate the bountiful harvest and the advent of a slower winter pace. Most of my first cousins were scattered throughout the East coast so we didn’t see them but it was a time when many of my second cousins from Los Angeles and Oakland/San Francisco areas of California, all came to celebrate with us. My grandmother spent the night before making huge plates of “o”sushi. Aunts and uncles and my cousins, who were a little older than my sisters and I, helped with preparation, setting the tables and cleaning up. My mother, who actually grew up in a city (Oakland), seemed to give great thought as to including things in the meal that were grown on the farm: almonds, walnuts and kuri (chestnuts) in the stuffing; oranges, lemons, grapefruits, apples in the fresh cranberry relish, and sweet potatoes, sometimes in the casserole dish with marshmallows, but often baked in the skins, so that each person could add butter and brown sugar by themselves.

As I think back upon it now, my cousins were so kind to play with us and make us feel included in their social activities. We often played into the night, and if there was no fog, they could stay later. My sisters and I always looked forward to seeing them and spending time with them. From when we were little, we helped with many different things, but I just remember the fun we had. That was my perspective about Thanksgiving until I grew up and learned how Thanksgiving isn’t necessarily such a thankful time for Native Americans. After learning about how Native Americans must be insulted by our myth about how settlers “discovered” America, “taught” the Indians how to be at peace with them, I see that celebration around Thanksgiving can be complicated. And yet, if there really was a Thanksgiving celebration like we were taught in school and in church, we should be thankful for the cooking and farming skills that the Native people passed onto the Europeans. Perhaps that is the point of Thanksgiving—to be filled with gratitude which opens our hearts and minds towards more peaceful ways to live together. With thanksgiving of the harvest, perhaps this is a time to thank the land, the earth and it’s inhabitants for what it gives to us. Thanksgiving may be the time to recognize the interdependence and stewardship we are given for the earth and for each other.

In this season, I am thankful for my health, the health of my extended family and community. With my 96 year-old auntie and the pastor of my church, a social justice activist, both recently suffering from heart attacks, many of us are very thankful for their healing and the limited damage that was incurred by both of them. I am also truly thankful for the coaching clients I have who continue to teach me about learning, loving, resiliency and healing.

Questions to reflect upon:
What do I notice about the experience of Thanksgiving? What do I now know that I didn't know a year ago? Five years ago?

10/2008
A New Set of Eyes

Have you ever had really good insight that you knew would be helpful for your child, friend, colleague or client?
Have you ever had the best advice for someone else, and either didn’t realize it or couldn’t follow that advice for yourself?

I have had repeated times where I’ve thought that if my clients were willing to experiment with finding a third person perspective that they could give themselves the insight needed to shift from feeling helpless to understanding what’s true and necessary to move through the situation. Creating a movie where you view yourself interacting with someone else can often help illuminate a deeper meaning of the situation. Then it hit me, that I’ve had limited practice of doing this for myself. For years, I’ve used the technique of second person perspective, or “stepping into the other person’s shoes” by role-playing the situation, discussing issues with the other person, and/or asking for the advice of a third party to listen to the situation and help me understand other possible perspectives. This has been helpful. But, the third person perspective takes the process one step further, providing a different kind of information where I can gain insight into my own needs and expectations. Interestingly enough, I had the perfect situation to try and learn more about my own perspective.

I came away from this experience with a new set of eyes. I realized that there were many things that I logically accepted. But on an emotional level, I was unconsciously holding onto a certain aspect of the relationship that may never have been there. I was clinging onto a desire for things to be a certain way. I’m learning that my expectations in all arenas of my relationships, whether they are business, community or familial can affect how I respond. In reflecting upon this, I gained two powerful lessons: practice what I preach, and after identifying what I’m clinging onto, be willing to let go or not.

Questions to reflect upon:
Have you ever experienced a new perspective, an “aha” moment?
What experience gave you that moment that all of a sudden you could “see” the tree that was always there?
What does this profound moment look like, sound like and feel like?

09/2008
Fall Transitions: Moving the “Fire in the Mind”

I have had such a full summer. Both of my sons were living in our home during the summer—a rare occurrence in the past several years. One child graduated from college and was preparing in August to move for a job, and the other child planning his life after he finishes college in a couple of years. Since this would be the third year that both boys would return to their own routines away from our home, I expected that the typical flurry with the onset of Fall would no longer be a major transition time for me. Fall began and life has been busy with work, business and personal travel, music, community and other family gatherings. It’s all been good. And yet, I have found myself and several of the other people I work with feeling engulfed by noticeable transitions and carrying the highs and lows of our clients’ lives.

I continued my regular meditation, exercise, healthy eating, but the schedule was not as routine. The work rhythms especially have been unavoidably frenetic and I felt like I was expending a great deal of time to keep my energy from being frantic. After sessions with an acupuncturist and a healer, I realized that I’m out of balance--my mind is too full. The acupuncturist told me that our bodies are just energy and there’s too much fire in my mind. I was encouraged with my work, community and family to give what I need to and then let it go. I am beginning to envision how to empty my mind. I’m working with moving this fire out of my mind, fully emptying myself. I’m recognizing the dynamic flow of energy. Like the falling of the leaves, the emptying of my energy clears the way for new energy and new growth to take its place.

Questions to reflect upon:
Are there noises in your mind, maybe like a tape that keeps playing even after you have done some problem-solving?
If your body is only energy, what is it telling you? Or, what do you notice about your body with relation to its dynamic state of energy?

08/2008
Attachment

Attachment is that which rests on pleasant experiences. Aversion is that which rests on sorrowful experience. –Yoga Sutra 2:7-8

Recently a client remarked how attachment to work had been keeping her from being happier. She has been pondering whether to pursue some other career. She began to create new challenges in her work and be fully present with the processes. She felt lighter and happier at work.

Interestingly enough, she was offered a promotion at work. She believes that when she was not so attached to her expectations, her attitude changed. Serendipitously a new opportunity opened up. She finds the new job more interesting. Simultaneously, she is in a better place to consider changing careers, returning to school and pursuing something else if that is where her path leads her.

The wisdom I draw from my client’s experience is that one can expend a great deal of energy reacting to something. One can choose whether to be controlled by an outcome. By letting go of the attachment one experiences the fullness of what is unfolding, whether it be sorrowful or joyful.

Attachment and Aversion Practice:

Do you find ever find yourself feeling irritated because things don’t seem to be going the way you want them to? Try this experiment.

In Living Your Yoga, Judith Lasater suggests counting the number of times that you become frustrated because things don’t go as planned or anticipated.

Questions to reflect upon:
What was the last time you had this kind of attachment? What would you do differently?

PREVIOUS THOUGHTS

BALANCE--HEALTH & WHOLENESS

Do not Worry
12/2007

Much of what my clients are searching for is congruency: when the physical, mental and spiritual are aligned. Although alignment can be dynamic, if one thinks about something else or physically moves, that state of congruency can be elusive. One of the ways we can maintain alignment is by being in the present moment, not letting any other thoughts or distractions cloud our connection with what is unfolding before us, right in this very moment.

This past Thanksgiving I was visiting my family on the farm. It was a wonderful spirit of everyone--adults and kids helping with the meals, house and outside work. As we were laying concrete to the walkway towards the outside laundry/Japanese bathhouse, I felt very present. In reflection upon this, I realized that the work, the land and the company—the community of my extended family, were collectively grounding all of us. Of course, my family cannot be on the farm, especially on holidays, without also feeling the presence of my grandparents, relatives and all of our ancestors. It was the same feeling as when we’re out in the fields and receiving the energy from the earth, feeling nurtured and spent, all at the same time.

In returning to my home and work, I have begun meditating on the principles of reiki, healing through touch. The first one, “For today, do not worry.” I’m realizing that this is a great way to “be present.” For my daily practice, I am focusing on this principal, engaging in energy (ki) exercises to ground myself.

Questions to reflect upon:
What grounds you?
How do you know you are centered and balanced? What does it feel like, taste like, look like, sound like?

Congruence
03/2008

I am learning and re-experiencing through the stories of my colleagues, friends, and children how being congruent, or in alignment can be transformative. I first heard about congruence in connection with the type of confidence and personal power that leaders display. As I work with coaching clients, I understand more clearly how congruence, or the embodiment of mind, body and spirit in the moment seems to emit a type of clarity, coupled with determination and simplicity. Recently a colleague told me of how she was on the platform to board the BART (transit) train, in the middle of the day with about 30 persons in the vicinity. Someone bumped into her. She looked through her purse and realized her wallet was gone. She began chasing him, which by this time, allowed the person to get a good lead. She spoke aloud, “He’s stolen my wallet and there he goes.” She ran as fast as she could, down the stairs. Strangely enough, the man stopped, which gave her a chance to catch up to him. By the time she reached him, he had the wallet visible in his hands. “What the >>>>?” she said, as he stretched out his hand to return the wallet. He responded, saying she had dropped it and he was returning it to the station agent. Calmly and resolutely, my friend walked back to the platform and boarded the train. There was silence; none of the other bystanders said a word.

My friend was not afraid, nor had she desired for the wallet snatcher to be punished. In her congruence, she confronted him, put out energy communicating that, of course, he knew better and she expected better of him. She reported feeling peaceful and powerful.

Questions to reflect upon:
How do you experience congruence—when your mind, body and spirit are aligned?
Can you think of a time when you had expected there to be some questioning or refuting or your ideas or action and there was none? What did that feel, look, hear, smell, or taste like?
How do we access that congruence,incorporate it into our daily lives and move forward to more effectively accomplish our vision and callings in life?

Hustle and Flow
05/2008

“I’ve got peace like a river, I’ve got peace like a river, I’ve got peace like a river in my soul”-African American Spiritual

Like a river, I can experience peace. Currently, in my life, I’ve been “working” at going with the flow and recognizing how “letting go” can allow energy to move in, provide tranquility and a sense of peace. So much of my earlier life has been about intensely attacking a goal or fixing something. I had become good at problem solving in this manner, often feeling the need to rush and hurry. This morning I opened a deck of angel spiritual cards, and randomly selected the card: “Hustle and Flow”. I thought this was an interesting pairing of ideas and wondered if I could be in alignment with the two concepts at the same time. The word hustle means “to work or act rapidly or energetically” (Webster’s College Dictionary). I generally think of tranquility and peace as being a sign of a spiritual flow of energy, but continued to ponder the juxtaposition the word “hustle” with “flow”. Hustle or quick movement of energy doesn’t necessarily have to be oppositional to a sense of peace. Hustle need not mean harried or frenetic. Hustle can mean intensity or quick energetic movement. Like a river, I can experience peace, whether the flow is tranquil and slow or rapid and intense.

Question to reflect upon:
Do you notice a “flow” in your life?

TRANSFORMATION

Your Transitions/Transformations
11/2007

The crane in my logo depicts the Japanese children's story about a man, who, instead of spending money for blankets, gives it to some young men in return for releasing a crane from their trap. The crane returns to the man's house, as a young orphaned girl, asking to spend the night. The couple adopts the girl. Eventually the girl offers to weave cloth throughout the night, for the poor couple, requesting that they not disturb her. The cloth is beautiful and is sold. The young woman continues to weave cloth until the couple becomes very comfortable. Curiosity gets the best of the man, who opens the door while the girl is weaving. What he sees is not a girl, but a crane, who is using her feathers to weave cloth. "I am the crane you set free. Now I must return to the sky."

You may know that I've been coaching for the past seven years, finding fulfillment in accompanying clients in envisioning and achieving their goals. Life is a journey and through coaching, the client's unique stories spring forth. Aspects of service, reciprocity, receiving comfort, love, healing and livelihood, transformation and moving on are all embodied in the crane story. The story contains many aspects of transformation and transition that my clients resonate with. Coaching can help persons move through the transformation and transition portions of their life stories.

Questions to reflect upon:
How do you relate to the crane story?
What are transitions that you are going through in your life?
What transformations do you wish to experience?
What transformations have you experienced? How are they giving you deeper meaning in your life?

Appreciating and Valuing Beauty and Brilliance
04/2008

Ap-pre’ci-ate, v., 1. valuing the act of recognizing the best in people or the world around us, affirming past and present strengths, successes, and potentials, to perceive those things that give life (health, vitality, excellence) to living systems 2. to increase in value, e.g., the economy has appreciated in value. Synonyms: VALUING, PRIZING, ESTEEMING, AND HONORING

Inquire’(kwir), v., 1. the act of exploration and discovery. 2. To ask questions; to be open to seeing the new potentials, and possibilities. Synonyms: DISCOVERY, SEARCH AND SYSTEMATIC EXPLORATION, STUDY.

-From A Positive Revolution in Change: Appreciative Inquiry, Cooperrider & Whitney.

A client related an experience of being at a spiritual retreat, watching the night sky, seeing the stars and noticing how immensely beautiful they were against the pitch black sky. She described the sensation created by the experience as a sense of fullness and awe that brought her great peace. She slept deeply that night and woke with the same feeling of gratitude and groundedness. Another night she was watching the sky and then thought to herself how wonderful it would be if she could see a shooting star. Then she caught herself and said, “No, it’s perfect just the way it is. Thank you for this magnificence.” At that moment a star shot across the sky, in a flash of brilliance.

I took three lessons from her story: 1) So often the simple act of noticing and appreciating beauty can bring peace that we often feel is lacking in our daily life. 2) In these moments it feels like the universe is conspiring with our highest intentions to help us create the best of what is possible. “Magic” happens. 3) So often when we’re able to let go of what we’re desiring, it comes to us.

With Appreciative Coaching (see appreciativecoaching.com), inquiry taps into our experiences. Appreciative coaching reveals our positive core and reminds us that there is much that is “right and true” about oneself that can guide future possibilities. I am continually amazed and inspired by the creativity and growth that my clients exhibit in moving towards envisioning and achieving their goals.

Questions to reflect upon:
What are past experiences of beauty that helped you appreciate your life?
What was your new or renewed perspective?
What did you come to value about yourself as a result of your experience?
How might these things you value help you face challenges you’re currently facing?

LEADERSHIP & LEADING OUR LIVES

Leading and Following within a Group
06/2008

"A good leader must know how and when to lead and how and when to follow." --Wendy C. Horikoshi

I participate in musical groups with voice and a little bit of flute and piano. Recently during the instrumental solo part, the musical director asked me to play claves—the sticks that become the beat of the music. The director has always maintained that all of the instruments get their rhythm from the claves. In the band, I had been accustomed to letting the drums, conga, rhythmic guitar, piano or bass lead the music. The rhythmic instruments provide a foundation or core for the music. For that short portion of the solo, I was learning that the claves need to lead the music. The claves contain a concentrated energy. They can be quite loud and powerful. They provide the pulse.

Another person was also playing the claves, but the other claves had a different sound, making the combined output stronger and more interesting. When we came to the solo part, the rhythmic pattern of 2-3 came naturally for me and I could hear that the other clave player was not quite in synch, but then very quickly we were altogether. These were magical moments, all of the instruments aligned--breathing and sounding as one. I kept listening and then heard the other person just slightly miss the first beat of the pattern. I thought we were enough in a flow that we’d be fine. But, by the end of the pattern I was off the beat.

Listening for me has two parts: it helps me feel the whole and it also helps me hear the quality of my own output. And yet, there’s a special tension between listening and what the musical director terms “being there,” being ready to play, essentially, being ready to lead. Within the music, I believe that it’s the same balance between laying back into the music and being right there to move the music forward. Leading a group can be akin to this tension: asking questions and listening for different perspectives and needs of the individual members balanced with critical moments of moving the group forward to make decisions or initiate action. Returning to the story about the claves and music, I began to ask myself, what do I need to do to stay in balance between listening and being there? What’s my balance between leading and following? The lesson I took from this is: it’s important to blend with a group, to mix in and follow appropriately. And yet, when it’s my turn, I need to keep my focus on leading.

Questions to reflect upon:
Are you conscious of when you’re leading?
What is your balance between leading and following, being there and relaxing?
How do you know when you need to listen or follow?

LEARNING FROM LIFE'S STORIES

The Stories in our Life
01/2008

Have you ever watched a movie or TV program, or read a book where you knew the story and didn’t like the ending? Or watched/read something and quit watching because you felt like it’s the same old story?

What storylines are we living? Do we keep repeating the same story and action lines, hoping that the outcomes will change? As we start the new year, what story might set a course for you in the journey you want to live?

A wise coach shared with me her practice of choosing an annual theme—a concept that might link together one’s dreams and focus for the year. Just as in identifying a storyline, a theme can give direction and intension. Choosing an annual theme has a timeline, while also providing a built-in rhythm or schedule to review one’s outcomes. I’ve found that selecting a theme has been very fruitful and meaningful, especially in comparison with a New Year’s resolutions, which often seem to go unfulfilled.

Questions to reflect upon:
What is your overall quest this year?
What is a theme that might link together your dreams and desired focus?
What guiding concept gives you more meaning, simplifies your life, helps you feel more whole, or calls you closer to your vision?

Making Meaning of Our Life Stories
07/2008

I recently decided to revamp my bio that appeared in Prism, a multicultural coaching collective for which I'm a founder. The brochure and website concisely explain the culturally-aware approach that each of the six principal coaches employ in our own practices and then offers some individual information about us. My bio seemed like a boring list of education, employment and training. I was depending upon the previous text to convey who I am. I realized that I had to tell my own story.

I started my rewrite with a quote which expresses the journey of my coaching clients. My story then flowed. It was as if I’ve been wanting to tell this “story” and the act of writing helped me synthesize the meaning in my life right now. My bio reads as follows:

Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength, mastering yourself is true power.--Lao Tsu

Wendy Chiyo Horikoshi, MS, Certified Coach is a guide for knowing and mastering others and oneself. Mastering oneself is a discipline that can lead to transformation. Growing up as the second daughter within a Japanese American farming community, Wendy learned the discipline of hard work and the value of family and community support. From these experiences she understands the importance of the collective. How people learn new things and work together as a group has always intrigued her. The economic, cultural and historical milieu of each individual’s life is a fascinating way to understand the insights, wisdom, capacity and strengths that each person has to offer the world. Wendy helps people envision and achieve their goals, whether they be personal or organizational. She has trained and coached for more than 20 years. Her community-building experiences include facilitating multicultural group discussions at Children’s Hospital in Oakland, helping Washington Elementary School on the west side of Alameda create a more caring learning community, spearheading multicultural leadership training programs/antiracism seminars; administrating, developing programs and relationships for the University of California Youth Program; codirecting the Migrant Education Summer School Program and teaching at JFK University in the Cross Cultural Counseling and Graduate School of Psychology Departments. Wendy holds a MS in Multicultural Curriculum, serves as adjunct faculty for the Association of Type’s Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® program. Wendy has published several articles on leadership, diversity and human development and has also coauthored Teamwork Tools: A Revolutionary Approach for Managers and Trainers (Kagan, 2007)

Questions to reflect upon:
What is your story?
What is the short bio for you in your work? In your community life? In your home/family life?